Hello reader. Eerything is going south. Nothing seems to be looking up any longer. My depression has completely worsened. Sometimes it feels unbearable. Crying hurts. Literally. I find myself just living. Living for just another day. One day at a time. I've slowly become numb to a lot of things. I don't see joy in much anymore. The reality is that everything just hurts. Everything has become so routine nowadays. I paint that smile on my face. I crack jokes. I make everyone think I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm far from okay. I don't even know why I'm blogging right now. It's not like anyone reads these. So I just sit and wollow in my own feelings on a public site like a fucking cry baby that complains about her life all the time.
My dreams have been very violent and distorted lately. They don't make sense to me. Things just aren't making sense to me anymore. I sound psychotic, don't I? This is why I don't talk with people. I know I'm not crazy but the way I talk sometimes, makes it seen that way. I don't want to be seen like that. I don't.
I just.. writing doesn't properly express how I feel anymore. Maybe it's just a stage I'm going through. I don't know. I just.. I'm done for right now. Just. Done.
