I felt the need to blog today and update you. I'm still alive. :)
So the new semester started which means a new semester of college. This semester I'm taking a lot of advanced classes which is somewhat frightening and exciting all at the same time. Today, I walked into my Communications class and we had to find a partner and interview each other. You know.. like those awkward icebreakers that most people do to "make friends" and "get to know each other", yeah.. we had to do those. I never have really been a fan of them because I felt like I was already awkward enough as it was, and why would I want someone else that I met five seconds ago when I walked in the classroom to know me as an awkward human. Does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't. Another thing is anxiety. I don't really have a fear of public speaking. I mean.. I have sang in front of people all through elementary, middle and high school and I've completed speech and debate stuff, as well as oral interp and acting so I was never really a shy person; however, speaking in front of a class of strangers gives me the weirdest anxiety. I can't explain it. I guess.. the real reason is that I simply just don't enjoy talking about myself. I like hearing about other people and giving them advice or listening to their stories and when you're acting or singing, you're playing someone else. You know? It's not about you. It's about the song you're singing or the piece you're acting out. It's never like.. Hi, what's your name and tell me a fact that nobody knows about you.
Anyways, back to the story.
So I met this girl. Her name is Kimberly. She was from the same state as I was and now goes to the same university as I do. We talked and I told her facts about me such as: my favorite animal is a rhino, I enjoy eating a lot, cupcakes are my favorite food, when I was little, I wanted to be Pocohantus. Things like that. So then I interviewed her. I asked her what her name was and simple things.. but she just stopped me and told me something different. She said I didn't need to ask anymore questions and that she wanted to tell me herself. The first thing she said was.. "I battle with eating disorders."
I sat there. My heart sunk. I didn't know how I was supposed to react to a statement like that. I didn't say anything and she kept talking.
She said that she battles with eating disorders because she sees herself as ugly and has no confidence. She said that it all started when she started comparing herself to her sister in high school. She joined the dance team and began throwing up which led to her not even eating. She went from a size 3 to a 0 very quickly, she told me. I sat there just completely flabergasted. (...is that a word?) I let her finish and she said that she still struggles with it but she hopes that putting her trust in God and believing that He made her exactly the way that He wanted is what was going to help her get through it.
We then had to go around the room and tell the class what we learned about our partner. I had said some family fun facts that she had told me instead of saying a secret like that to the whole classroom.
Then, it got to this guy. He was in my class and he was about 40. Now, when you see a 40 year old in your college class, many people tend to judge. He was very too himself but something throughout the class drew me to him. I didn't know what it was so I just brushed the feeling aside.
Anyways, we began all going around the room. It got to him and I decided to pay close attention. He had said that his name was Mike. He was married and has three daughters and plans on achieving his bachelors in Criminal Justice. Then.. he said the story. His oldest daughter had gotten killed by her boyfriend and he wanted to become a victim's advocate to help families deal with the loss of a loved one and that that was his striving goal to keep on pushing toward his bachelors. For his daughter.
My eyes literally started watering when he said all of that.
Class was over and I headed to my Philosophy class, which he is in also.
I don't know what it is but something draws me to him. It's weird. I mean.. yeah, he's like twice my age and has gone through a lot but I just get this good vibe from him.
I guess the point of this blog was just to tell you, and actually... probably tell myself and remind myself to not take people for granted. They can be gone in a second. I've experienced that first hand with Lyndsey and family members, just like I'm sure you have experienced some sort of loss.
Cherish the people you have, reader because you don't know when their last day is. Or even yours.
Thanks for reading.
God Bless.
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