Anyways, I've been doing this task where I try and get into my mind through you, reader. I know, I know. It sounds strange.. Maybe even insane a little. Or a lot. But it's something that is really intriguing me lately. It's interesting feeling like a reader to my own work. Does that make sense? Anyways, here's the beginning of it. Give me feedback and I'll continue to add more and more to it. It would be very appreciated, young grasshopper :) -----I've yet to understand why I adore saying that. Enjoy. I'll have more in store for you if you give me comments. Good or bad. :) You've stuck by my side for a while now, reader and I appreciate it so very much.
God Bless.
xo, Kayla
Here you go:
If you really knew me, what would you even know? Would you
know all those dirty secrets that every person is “supposed” to have? Would you
know the ins and outs of my soul? Truth is, reader, even if you “really” knew
me, you wouldn't know a thing about me. And that, right there, is a fact.
You
can never fully understand a person’s motives, choices or reasoning behind
anything that runs through their minds. You want to know why? Because us
humans, we can all be honest, but certain ones that roam the worldly earth we
live, can’t stand to show the real us. The real me is a disgrace to myself
which is why, you, reader, will never truly know me.
Now
that doesn't mean you can’t know facts about me. That is far from what I’m referring
to and I’m not saying I’m not an honest person because let me just tell you
something. I am not a liar and I am very honest. My emotions are just difficult
for some to decode including myself at times. Maybe this worldly concept I’m
trying to discuss with you doesn't affect the population of humanity as a
whole. Maybe it’s just me and what goes on in my brain because to be quite
honest, I don’t know what races through your mind and now you will get a
glimpse into what flows through mine.
So what are you looking for to start this
journey you are about to experience? To capture a reader’s attention, I was
always taught three ways as I ventured through schooling. I could engage you in
a shocking statistic but none come to mind. A heart-warming story is a great
way to break the ice but I don’t feel like thinking into my past. There’s
always an interesting fact but let’s face it, what’s so interesting about me?
Exactly.
Expressing emotions is a hard thing for me to do, reader, and you will
discover that the more you read. I do hope to one day learn your name if
someone ever does read this because quite frankly I can just tell that by the
time I’m done writing this that I will get exceptionally tired of referring to
you as “reader”.
Iris
by The Goo Goo Dolls, ever heard it? There’s a verse in it that says:
“And I don’t want the world to see me. Cause I don’t think
that they’d understand. When everything’s meant to be broken, I just want you
to know who I am.”
Rereading that and analyzing that verse, I ponder. Do people really want
to show their real selves or has the brainwashing society we subsist in
informed us that our true self is no longer socially acceptable? It easy to
argue either side but I think that one side will automatically stand out in
your mind first versus the opposing part. Maybe I am wrong. That’s not a
difficult task for me to accept, reader. However, I will let you analyze the
question and decipher for yourself what the true answer is. Or maybe, just
maybe, there will never truly be an answer. Chew on that.
I’m
sure I’ve yet to capture your attention, nonetheless if I have somehow managed
to get you hooked, I’m certain you have most likely been confused a time or
two. Am I at least right on that one?
How do
you feel about questions, reader? I suppose that was a ridiculous question
itself to ask you, simply because my physical appearance does not remain in
your presence. Moving on. Maybe a more
effortless way would be to ask you questions that I dwell on, but answer them
myself. Or at least do my best to. Sound
good? Since I’m not a patient person, I will elucidate for you with a swift yes
reply. Being a young adult, we are faced with many questions, quite frankly,
for me at least, it feels like I’m faced with them constantly. There’s the
question we don’t know the answer to, questions we knew the answer to years
ago, questions that are simply just stupid and questions we could live our whole
life without knowing the answer to. But
then, there are the questions. The questions we get catechized with that
unmistakably gnaw away at our mind.
For
example, a family friend of mine asked me once “What is time?” and I honestly
sat there attempting to seep into the depths of my intellectual knowledge to
scrutinize what “time” actually was. There are certain questions that will
never have a direct, straightforward answer.
Maybe that’s a superior article though because if we knew the answers to
everything, there would be nothing left to discover.
Writing is an addiction, an obsession. They both go
hand-in-hand. Inanimate objects tend to not be viewed as capable of having a
relationship; however, the companionship I acquire from simply writing proves
the statement above to be false. The reason why words on paper or on a screen
are such a habit to me is due to the fact that I feel it’s the one true thing I
can use to express myself. Writing gives me a sense of freedom like someone
tied down by chains and being let go tends to feel. With a pencil and paper or
a computer and Microsoft Word, I can create masterpieces. I’m not one that speaks
my mind vocally. To write is an amazing talent. Thoughts coarse through your
mind constantly, right? Those thoughts can be transformed into a piece of
information that you can analyze in your mind, which can ultimately be written
down or typed. It’s truly a magnificent process if you think about it. Without
your own thoughts, writing could not exist and all you would hold would be
memories stored in the back of your brain and I without writing would be a
difficult task for me to even really comprehend.
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